Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
