ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize