Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
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