I just made out with a guy for $7.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize