When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
