I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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