i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I am spending my child support on dildos
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
