I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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