What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
