The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
