Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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