guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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