I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
