I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
