You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
