# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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