U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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