I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
