Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
