5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Oh god it's open bar.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
