she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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