Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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