He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
