Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
