why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Randomize
