i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
