thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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