let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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