You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
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