it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
