Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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