My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize