Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
