Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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