He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
