You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
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