I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
