I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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