Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
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Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
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I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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