Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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