so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
