Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
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my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
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