Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
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