Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Randomize
