wat bout pragnant strippers??
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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