Just cropdusted the office
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
