I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
