I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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