Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
