Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
my phone needs a breathalizer
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
