Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
