I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Randomize
