Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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