my sisters under your porch take her home
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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