just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
