I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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