I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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