After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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