So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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