Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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