white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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