Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
