We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
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