Just fell off a train. Bad.
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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