ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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