If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize