sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
