I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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