now i know why i became what i already was.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
